Trying to Score With the Ladies? What You Should Not Do
Identifying with music lyrics:br /br /Alright, we’ve all participated in this self-absorbed activity (even I have), where we believe we have the right to identify our life with a current song. I can’t tell you how many times I have gone on AIM to see a girl with the status “They never said it be easy, sometimes it’s rocky, but I’d rather be with you then alone.” Gee, I wonder who she is talking about, no amount of shitty re-gargled Coldplay lyrics are going to bring your deadbeat stoner boyfriend out of his 12×19 box on a Friday night. Seriously there’s no line in a sappy love song that hasn’t been repeated ad nauseam in the past century. Also, if I see one more photo album titled “Empire State of Mind” or “I got a feeling…” it might be enough to make me deactivate my account for the rest of my college career. I know quoting Thomas Edison may seem like “social suicide,” but twittering “I put my hands up, they’re playing my song” makes you about as culturally relevant as Kathy Griffin. For those of you who still believe that Facebook is contributing to society go check your newsfeed, some tool just changed his status to “I make them good girls go bad”.br /br /Impersonations:br /br /Through maturation most of us learn how to become socially adept, but if Darwin has taught us anything, not all of us adapt. You’re a first semester freshman in college, and your eating lunch with a girl, and out of the corner of your eye you see your socially awkward friend who you were forcefully paired up with during orientation. Now in high school you wouldn’t have associated yourself with this type of freak, but he’s sort of a nice guy and you really don’t want to look like an asshole in front of the mildly intelligent human being sitting in front of you. Despite the fact that you are firing laser beams out of your eyes that literally say “stay the fuck away,” he proceeds to saunter over to your table with a shit-eating grin that can only mean one thing. “Did you see last night’s South Park dude, oh my God it was so hilarious when Kenny and Kyle get raped……” Not only does he start describing in vivid detail the appeal of the “Chipoltaway,” but he starts impersonating all the characters and their voices – perpetually cock blocking you into his lonely action figure infested abyss. Impressions never make you cool kids, whether your saying “Use the Force” as you extend your hand out to the half empty Keystone across the room or “Why is it that blonde girls always taste the best?” in your best Sean Connery/James Bond voice after you kiss a girl, you will most likely alienate people and whatever few friends you do have. This is college people, impersonations will flat line a first impression quicker than a yo-yo or magic trick.br /br /Playing Guitar Hero at parties:br /br /At first it was something for straight edge kids to do on a Saturday night, then it became something much tackier. Guitar Hero and all other Harmonix gimmicks, for the better or worse, have become a staple in pop culture today. Seriously, when did people start playing video games at parties? Are you really going to be the jackass who shows up with a plastic guitar instead of a case of beer? Pressing four different colored buttons in correlation to a picture on a TV screen doesn’t make you cool, it makes you slightly more responsive than a kid with down syndrome. Somehow kids are being tricked into thinking that nerd-chic is cool. Musicians are cool, but wannabes are not. You can’t tell me you’re crushing bitches like Cary Grant when you have the handle of guitar that looks like it was made by Fisher Price sticking out of your backpack. Put down the guitar, pick up a beer, and try physical communication (hey, it’s going out of style).br /br /Baby pictures on Facebookbr /br /It was cute the first couple time your friends did it, we even appreciated you for your avant-garde approach to Facebooking, but now it’s gotten to the point where its just kind of weird. Nothing about your pre-pubescent picture makes me remotely attracted to you. I don’t feel the same sentimental way you do to see what you looked like before you had any defining sexual characteristics, I feel like Woody Allen at a Korean middle school. For some reason, around the time of freshman year in college there was a large influx of baby pictures on Facebook. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, or maybe it’s a clever ploy to cover up the fact that you put on the freshman fifteen, but I’m pretty sure the point of Facebook profile picture is to show a current photo of you. Even if your genes are starting to crap out on you early, and you start to look like Keith Richards, people are doing amazing things with Photoshop these days.br /br /Http://www.TheCampusSocialite.combr /br /College – broken down and redefined. The Campus Socialite boils down big school living to its core ingredients by whipping up a recipe for ambitious students looking for tips to enhance their social lives, stay up on entertainment, sports, and pop culture news, ease their minds with side-splitting humor pieces, and get ahead in the world with academic and career advice. A one stop shop for all of your university needs, The Campus Socialite offers readers the complete campus experience with an edge that will keep you logging on each and every morning.br /br /Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daniel_Birnbaum
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